Every few months some harried freelancer charged with coming up with a novel spin on something sexual or other contacts me for a pithy quote. And since I am all about the pith, I will oblige if at all possible. Most recently, the writer was a staffer at Details, which I used to read when it was sort of sceney and kinda gay back in the '80s but which sunk beneath my radar when it morphed into some sort of younger, more metro GQ. What did I think, the writer wanted to know, about the demise of the hand job? Read more »
Two years ago I met a guy who was a friend of a friend. I got to know him and realized that he was the most fascinating, intelligent person I'd ever met. Despite not being initially attracted to him, I soon got over this and fell in love with him.
We skirted discussing a romantic relationship because he had deep emotional problems precipitated by a number of traumatic things that happened to him in his childhood. He could often be unfriendly to the point of cruelty. Read more »
I was on antidepressants for a year and just came off them recently. It was a situational depression my close sister had died. I have no other psych history. Now, since I've been off the medication, I've experienced an intense surge of sexual desire and have developed an online relationship with someone where I am his sex slavetoy. I've always fantasized about being submissive but never seriously acted on it until now. I find it so erotic!
I feel I'm about to go out of control, though. Read more »
I have a bit of a problem. It's not a huge one, but I'd like to get past it. A long time ago (maybe 15 years ago or more), I had a dream that my dad was molesting me. Now, I love my dad, and I have nothing but respect for him. I know he would never do anything like that to me. But right after the dream I started to feel uncomfortable around him. If I sat next to him on the couch, I'd sit at the other end and keep a pillow between us. If he went to hug me, I'd want to pull away. I would especially hate it when he'd kiss my cheek. Read more »
When last we visited Polyland, I was congratuutf8g myself for doing a necessary public service: warning would-be polyamorists they would fail unless they happened to belong to that select group born with not only the desire but the ability to share. If I gave short shrift to the fact that polyamory takes hard work on top of natural inclination, plus the luck to find similarly inclined partners, I apologize. Read more »
I'm in my first sexual relationship. There's been a lot of lovely hand- and mouth-action, but no penis-vagina intercourse because I can't maintain an erection with a condom on. She really wants genital intercourse; she's very experienced and always had her best orgasms that way. She also says she's never heard of this problem before and my self-proclaimed sex expert friends concur. Am I really that unique in experiencing a complete loss of stimulation with a condom? Read more »
Can we, may we, talk about blow jobs? I don't mean the semiotics and social history of blow jobs those are cool, but were well addressed by Christopher Hitchens last year in Vanity Fair, in which he made an amusing if not entirely convincing case for the blow job as the quintessential American sex act. Read more »
Thanks for answering my question about performance anxiety ["Spectator Pumps," 2/21/07]. We solved the problem on our own. My girlfriend recognized that it was a confidence issue, so she went to the local sex shop and purchased an herbal male performance pill. We were both skeptical, but it actually worked within an hour. We proceeded to have awesome marathon sex. I had random boners for the next 48 hours.
My confidence was back pretty much instantaneously. We've had a healthy sexual relationship since then. Read more »
I'm still breast-feeding my third baby, and my libido is completely gone. I don't even think about sex. My ob-gyn seemed to think it's related to breast-feeding. That was months ago, and I still feel the same. I feel bad for my husband. I know he is starting to take it personally.
I have to admit I've been letting your question sit here in my "good question!" file for months. Read more »
Most of the sex I've had with my girlfriend has been pretty bad, all thanks to my stupid brain. I go back and forth between impotence and premature ejaculation. Initially, I thought it was physical, but it's become evident that it's primarily a mental thing. You know how if someone says, "Don't think about elephants," all you can think about are elephants? This is the same idea. Read more »