CHEAP EATS My soccer team is good. They win without me by gaudy scores like 18-1. When I'm there we still win, mostly, but with better manners. And sometimes we tie or even lose, but only when I'm there. This makes me feel needed.Read more »
Thank you for putting real flowers and tiny plastic battery-operated candles in your closet for me. I slept like an angel that snores like a truck driver. Speaking of which, thank you for the chili and cornbread too. It made my homecoming that much sweeter and spicier, in addition to giving me gas. Which I am happy to have, and allowed to have, praise God, now that I'm back in a Free Country.Read more »
I think I know what the essential-oil-wielding hippies meant when they talked to me about personal growth and evolution. For example, I now believe in marriage. State-sanctified, and with as much paperwork as possible. I know it's still only a 50-50 proposition, but at least it might weed out complete posers and the temporarily sane.Read more »
As you go through life, never underestimate the importance of somewhere to sit. In fact, stand up right now and kiss your chair. Kiss one for me, too — the comfy cat-hair chair that I like — and use your tongue please, Earl. For me. I dream of that chair, and hope to be sitting in it two weeks from today.Read more »
Moonpie picked me up at the airport, took me straight to a shoe store, and bought me two pairs of brown boots. The snow was up to my knees, and then it snowed more, and then the snowplow came and buried every single economy car in Pittsburgh. Moonpie and her man were both sick, so that left me and my new favorite 12-year-old, Gabriella, to person the shovels.Read more »
I'm not mad at you for writing to me about German food. Nothing, not even the shit that I am in, can change the way I feel about sausage. In fact, I ate at Schmidt's before I left, for practice, and ordered the same thing you did, and felt similarly, which is to say: happy.
I have accidentally fallen into the hands of hippies. They come from Pleiades, which is not a planet but a star cluster. How cool is that?
I used to love to be able to say, "I come from San Francisco." Suddenly it seems boring. Still, I bet we have better Mexican food than they do on Pleiades. Or in the Pleiades. (Not sure how to say this. I'll have to ask.)
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Like a cat always lands on its feet, your chicken farmer lands on a chicken farm. Weirdo the Cat would be proud of me, according to the Mountain.
Hard to believe, but life sometimes does that to you. Just when you need them, voilà: chickens. I had no idea! I just had to get somewhere friendly, and by sheer chance on the same day the anvil fell on my head I got a mass e-mail from Fabienne Gagagaga, telling my whole family, among other things, to keep in touch.Read more »
Not you, but people say, "You will be stronger." I wonder how, when I am in a million pieces. Of course I know I will come together, but what if the forearm is on top of the elbow and the upper arm below? What if my fingers are in the wrong order? How can this make me stronger?
I thought I would ask you, because don't you have some experience with cubism?Read more »
CHEAP EATS The ice that I am on is thin. It's so thin it might not even be ice. I could be Jesus, skating on pure belief, or a dream. Certainly, things are surreal here.
On my gloves and knees, I press my lips to the thin line between world and world and kiss fish. I can only imagine what they, and the Germans, are thinking. Even the ducks have stopped speaking to me. I suppose I could take that as a compliment. They no longer see me as news?Read more »